


Not only my language is bi

by WafflesAndPancakes



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: And Kevin tries to take his mind off of things, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bilingual Character(s), Danish, Established Relationship, German, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Nico is afraid of the future, angsty, semi-detailed smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 00:14:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20733056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WafflesAndPancakes/pseuds/WafflesAndPancakes
Summary: "Those questions keep you up at night, they will not let you sleep, they feed into your brain until you cannot think about anything else. Your body moves alone, you are like a zombie, going from one place to the other, fulfilling your duties, but never really around. You stay trapped in your headspace, drowning in your thoughts until the problem is solved. Or until someone drags you out of it."orMe, flexing with being able to speak three languages





	Not only my language is bi

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Oh, I don't want to continue my angsty Dan oneshot, I need some fluff  
also me: writes this

Sometimes, you sit around, thinking about what life has in store for you. What your future holds. What you may experience throughout your lifetime. And sometimes, the whole world crashes down around you, leaving you in a deep hole of “What if”s and “What could have been”s. Sometimes, life changes in ways you cannot control, sometimes in ways, you can control. It is the uncertainty that stops you for a moment, before turning into the energy that keeps you going. You want to make something out of your life, you want to change, to do the best. But what is the best? Trying to stay where you are? Or trying to start somewhere new? Those questions keep you up at night, they will not let you sleep, they feed into your brain until you cannot think about anything else. Your body moves alone, you are like a zombie, going from one place to the other, fulfilling your duties, but never really around. You stay trapped in your headspace, drowning in your thoughts until the problem is solved. Or until someone drags you out of it.

For Nico, this state of not knowing what to do had been holding on since Renault had confirmed Esteban instead of him, meaning that he would have to fight for a new seat in Formula One. If he was truly honest to himself, he would even have been with a seat at Williams, just so he could race for another season. And still, every door he had tried to hold open, every opportunity he could have grasped, fell shut at once, leaving him with the unbearable feeling that this could be his last races in Formula One for at least one season. He had hoped that Haas would take him, that he would get Romain’s seat, that he could stay, but it turned out differently, and he found himself in front of another closed door. He was running out of opportunities and it stressed him.

He knew that Kevin was watching him, of course he was. Kevin cared for him, he knew how much he wanted to stay in Formula One, he knew how hard it was to find a new team in such a short period of time, he knew how much he had wanted to race alongside him. And he knew what this kind of change could damage their relationship. It was still so new, so easy to break, like a seedling that later on would grow to be a great tree, but now was weak and fresh. It had started with Marcus leaving Formula One the season prior, and how it had shattered the relationship between him and Kevin, leaving the Dane heart-broken and vulnerable. Their relationship had not survived their different schedules, and Nico, who had been crushing on Kevin for a long time, was afraid that it would also happen to them. Not even a year into what could grow to be a full-blown relationship.

It had started with Kevin turning up at his door, tears running down his cheeks. They had talked the whole night through, how Marcus had broken up with him because he could not do it any longer because it took a toll on him. Not being around his boyfriend anymore, never really being able to talk to him. And Kevin had understood it, he had felt the same way, but it still had broken his heart. That night, he had found comfort in Nico’s arms, whose feelings were running amok inside of him, but he swore himself to always be there for him, no matter what happened. He hated to see Kevin sad, he hated to see him so vulnerable, he wanted to see him happy and laughing and… just being himself. And now, where his future was so vague, the sadness had returned into Kevin’s eyes. Both of them feared that they might end up like Kevin and Marcus had, only that they had not talked about what their relationship status was. They knew there were feelings involved, they knew that it was not just fooling around, but the fact that Kevin’s relationship had ended not even a year ago, and the unknown future held them back from something more serious.

It was his turn to turn up at the other’s door, knocking nervously but to the same degree tired. He knew that Kevin was waiting for him, the look in his eyes when they had met each other briefly on the paddock earlier on had told him that he wanted to see him, and still, he did not know what to expect. But as Kevin opened the door, a smile appeared on his lips as he could smell the sweet scent of his favorite food coming from the Dane’s hotel room. Without saying a word, the smaller man took a step to the side, granting the German access to his room, giving him a peck on the cheek after having closed the door.

The light was turned off, the room only illuminated by candles that were spread around the room, and fairy lights draped around the headboard of the bed. It was a magical scene, and in the middle stood Kevin, dressed nicely in a black shirt and jeans, making Nico feel a bit underdressed in his team shirt and shorts. His eyes did not leave Kevin as he pushed off his shoes, his smile growing as he noticed the table behind the Dane. A makeshift candle-light dinner in a hotel room in Singapore. Those little romantic gestures which Nico treasured so much about Kevin.

“Sit down, please. And eat something.”

There was a smile on Kevin’s lips and Nico stared at him, fascinated by how the Dane got even more beautiful surrounded by candle-light, how his light hair was shining, making him look like the angel he was.

“Only if you eat with me.”

Kevin’s hand found his, leading him over to the table, pulling out the chair for him.

“How could I ever say no?”

~

The food was good, really good, eating it in Kevin’s company made it even better. Nico was feeling blessed that someone like Kevin was spending his time with him. They were holding hands after they had finished eating, Kevin’s hand laying on his, drawing small patterns onto his palm. They were talking about their day but soon they switched topics, talking about God and the world, and it seemed as if Kevin was hanging on his lips, soaking in every word he spoke. His eyes were sparkling as if the stars were being reflected into them, and the smile did not leave his lips. Nico fell for this man once again.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Kevin blushed at his words, looking down to their joined hands.

“You’re beautiful too,” he whispered as he lifted their hands, pressing small kisses onto Nico’s palm. “One of the most beautiful men I have ever seen. So gorgeous. So kind. And… and all mine…?”

Their eyes met, and Nico could see how nervous Kevin was, afraid of the answer that should have been so clear to him. The German got up and walked over to the other man, softly brushing their lips together.

“All yours.”

Kevin pulled him down by the collar of his shirt, crashing their lips together. They both needed this, bodies pressing together, the silent affirmation that they would not leave the other, that they would try and try and try to make it work. Even if he would not end up in Formula One for the next season, he would never give this up, never give Kevin up.

They ended up on the bed, Nico on top of Kevin, pinning him down, taking in the sight of the trained body, of the angel tattoo on the broad chest. His fingers traced the tattoo, the lines of ink that painted his body, before letting his hands wander up, cupping his cheek before kissing him softly. He was happy, more than happy, to be able to share this intimacy with anyone else than Kevin. Kevin lit up his world, Kevin was the beacon of hope in his dark mind, Kevin was everything he needed now, everything that helped him get through the mist, the literal _Mist_, he had to go through.

Nico loved all the reactions he could get when Kevin was beneath him, especially when he fingered him open slow and sensual, leaving trails of soft kisses along his whole body. It were the small, needy sounds that he loved the most, the quiet begging for more, for him to finally take him. It was a picture for the gods, no, Kevin was a literal god, blessing him with his love and trust day in, day out. He could not imagine a life without him, a life without the happiness and calmness every Dane had inside them. In fact, he only imagined a life with him, moving to Denmark, to a little town by the sea, where they could sit outside every day and let the strong northern wind blow their thoughts and fears away, maybe with a child or two running around their garden. That was what he wanted. Love and trust and happiness. And most of all: Kevin.

All these thoughts seemed to crash over him as he pushed inside the Dane, the tightness engulfing him, sending his mind over the edge. He was happy, he was blessed, he was so madly in love, but he was also scared and he feared the future. He did not want to let Kevin go, he did not want to throw this away, he did not want it to end as it had ended with Marcus. He did not want Kevin’s heart to be broken again. He wanted to be the one who made him happy, who made him smile, who made him laugh. All these thoughts were flooding his mind, letting tears fill his eyes.

“Scheiße, babe, ich will dich nicht verlieren, ich brauche dich doch,” he whispered, his hips starting an uncontrolled rhythm, thrusting hard into him. “Versprich mir, dass du mich nicht verlässt. Versprich mir, dass wir es versuchen, okay? Auch wenn ich nicht mehr dabei bin, ich will das nicht enden lassen, fuck, Kevin, ich liebe dich doch.”

He did not care that Kevin did not understand him, that he did not understand his German rambling, the only important thing was that Kevin was there with him, enjoying the moment trapped beneath the German. A loud moan escaped the Dane’s lips as Nico hit that special point which made him see stars, pressing his body closer to the German’s.

“Ich liebe dich auch, Nico!”

It were those words that sent him over the edge completely, spilling himself in the Dane, moving through his orgasm until he felt Kevin clench down around him, come spreading across his stomach. Nico looked at his lover with big eyes, smiling slightly before starting to clean their bodies. Silence spread across the room, the only audible thing being their quick breaths that they were trying to calm down. Nico pulled the other man closer, letting him rest his head on his chest, one hand carding through the Dane’s hair.

“Didn’t know you could speak German.”

“Es gibt… viel, dass du nicht weißt.” Kevin blushed, biting his lower lip, clearly looking for the rights words in his clouded mind. Nico could not help but smile at the sweet Danish accent his lover had. “Ich konnte… schon immer verstehen… was du sagst. Wir lernen das in die Schule, weißt du? Also Deutsch…”

“In der Schule, Kevin. Es heißt ‘in der Schule’.”

“Okay, men fuck dig, din idiot. I det mindste prøver jeg at være romantisk og at tale dit sprog, du kan gerne prøve at lære da-”

Nico silenced him with a kiss, smiling against Kevin’s lips.

“You know I liked it when you talk Danish when you’re pissed off, but I would love to hear more German from you…”

His smile grew bigger as he let his hand wander down Kevin’s body, a shiver running through the Dane’s body. A soft moan escaped his lips as Nico’s hand closed around his length, slowly moving up and down.

“Shit, Nico, please!”

The hand disappeared and the German grinned at him, shaking his head.

“Nein, nein, nein, schön auf Deutsch, Liebling, sonst wird das nichts…”

Kevin bit his lip and swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before whispering words in German, the blush on his cheeks glowing even stronger than before as Nico’s hand found its way back.

Nico knew that they would fight, even if he would not be around anymore. They would not give this up, this mattered way too much for both of them. Their love would survive everything.

**Author's Note:**

> "the mist, the literal Mist" - Mist in German means shit, basically, a pun on my side
> 
> “Scheiße, babe, ich will dich nicht verlieren, ich brauche dich doch,” - "Shit, babe, I don't want to lose you, I need you"
> 
> “Versprich mir, dass du mich nicht verlässt. Versprich mir, dass wir es versuchen, okay? Auch wenn ich nicht mehr dabei bin, ich will das nicht enden lassen, fuck, Kevin, ich liebe dich doch.” - "Promise me that you won't leave me. Prome me that we will try, okay? Even if I'm not around anymore, I don't want this to end, fuck, Kevin, I love you"
> 
> “Ich liebe dich auch, Nico!” - "I love you too, Nico!"
> 
> “Es gibt… viel, dass du nicht weißt.” - "There is... a lot that you don't know."
> 
> “Ich konnte… schon immer verstehen… was du sagst. Wir lernen das in die Schule, weißt du? Also Deutsch…” - "I could... always understand... what you say. We learn that in school, you know? (Kevin is here using the wrong article for school) I mean, German..."
> 
> “In der Schule, Kevin. Es heißt ‘in der Schule’.” - "In school, Kevin. It has to be in school" (Nico corrects Kevin, it doesn't make sense in English)
> 
> “Okay, men fuck dig, din idiot. I det mindste prøver jeg at være romantisk og at tale dit sprog, du kan gerne prøve at lære da-” - "Okay, but fuck you, you idiot. At least I am trying to be romantic and to talk your language, you can try to learn da-" (learn danish)
> 
> “Nein, nein, nein, schön auf Deutsch, Liebling, sonst wird das nichts…” - "No, no, no, in German, Sweetheart, or else I won't continue" (more or less)


End file.
